Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
