We won't sleep together?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
