this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
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They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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