You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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