I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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