Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We need to get me chipped asap
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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