Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
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My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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