FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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