I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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