I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
