idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
