its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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