just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
