if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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