I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
