Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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