I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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