we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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