I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
