I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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