why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
