Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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