i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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