:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
