so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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