I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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