I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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