haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
