it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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