You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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