Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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