Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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