don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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