If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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