we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
