So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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