When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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