i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
