dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
