Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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