I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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