Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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