p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
