I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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