im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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