Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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