I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
