Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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