I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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