Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
