Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
