dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
