member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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