How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
